Laugh Your Way to Health

Laughing at One’s Self

In the INTRO posting to this blog I mentioned some ways to stave off memory loss in an aging brain, mainly mental gymnastics and mind bogglers. A specific remedy is banishing stress by means of humor, the essence of “Laughter is the best medicine.” This piece follows this vein, using humorous quotes and jokes.



Laughing at our mistakes can lengthen our own life. Laughing at someone else's can shorten it. - Cullen Hightower

Numerous studies have validated the medical benefits of laughing. On the other hand, someone who has had the misfortune of not having personally experienced or witnessed the rude behavior of laughing at another person would not know the potential harm and consequences of the act. One can lose a friend this way, or one’s life with a stranger.





When a person can no longer laugh at himself, it is time for others to laugh at him. - Thomas Szasz



Overheard at the U.S. Food and Drug Administration: “If laughter is the best medicine, shouldn’t we be regulating it?” Our Pinoy BFAD admitted they don’t have sufficient manpower to enforce regulations, so Pinoys are still free to laugh.



A. A. A. D. D. (Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder).

This is how it manifests: (Forwarded by email)



I decide to water my lawn.



As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.



As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.



I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.



I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the garbage can under the table, and notice that the can is full.



So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the garbage first.



But then I think, since I'm going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.



I take my check book off the table, and see that there is only one check left.



My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of Coke that I had been drinking.



I'm going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the Coke aside so that I don't accidentally knock it over.

I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.



As I head toward the kitchen with the Coke a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye - they need to be watered.



I set the Coke down on the counter, and I discover my reading glasses that I've been searching for all morning.



I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I'm going to water the flowers.



I set the glasses back down on the counter, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote.

Someone left it on the kitchen table.



I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won't remember that it's on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the living room where it belongs, but first I'll water the flowers.



I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor.



So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.



Then I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.



At the end of the day:



the lawn isn't watered,

the car isn't washed,

the bills aren't paid,

there is a warm can of Coke sitting on the counter, the flowers don't have enough water, there is still only one check in my check book, I can't find the remote, I can't find my glasses, I don't remember what I did with the car keys, and my neighbor called to tell me he turned off the hose that was flooding the driveway.



Then when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I'm really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I'm really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I'll try to get some help for it, but first I'll check my e-mail.



Do me a favor, will you? Forward this message to someone you know, because I may not remember to whom it has been sent.



Don't laugh -- if this isn't you yet, your day is coming!





GROWING OLDER IS MANDATORY.

GROWING UP IS OPTIONAL.

LAUGHING AT YOURSELF IS THERAPEUTIC!



Hard of hearing

Three retirees, each with a hearing loss, were taking a walk one fine March day.



One remarked to the other, "Windy, ain't it?"



"No," the second man replied, "It's Thursday."



And the third man chimed in, "So am I. Let's have a coke."





Automotive horror

As a senior citizen was driving down the freeway, his car phone rang. Answering, he heard his wife's voice urgently warning him, "Herman, I just heard on the news that there's a car going the wrong way on Highway 280. Please be careful!"

"Heck," said Herman, "It's not just one car. It's hundreds of them!"





Campaign speech A man making a campaign speech said, “My candidate is as honest a man as money can buy.” The sudden laughter made him realize his slip so in an attempt to recover he said, “I mean he never stole a centavo in his life ─ and all he asks is a chance.”



Insult The only graceful way to accept an insult is to ignore it; if you can’t ignore it, top it; if you can’t top it, laugh at it; if you can’t laugh at it, it’s probably deserved. — Russell Lynes



In my sentences I go where no man has gone before...I am a boon to the English language.

-- George W. Bush





When I was a kid I used to pray every night for a new bike. Then I realised that The Lord doesn't work that way, so I stole one and asked him to forgive me. -- Emo Philips



In this country steeped in a culture of prayer, its bureaucracy works in this exact manner. God helps those who help themselves.



Doing nothing is very hard to do...you never know when you're finished. -- Leslie Nielsen



I believe we should all pay our tax bill with a smile. I tried — but they wanted cash.

-- Anonymous



The secret of life is honesty and fair dealing. If you can fake that, you've got it made.

-- Groucho Marx



History is the version of past events that people have decided to agree upon. -- Napoleon Bonaparte



What luck for the rulers that men do not think. -- Adolf Hitler



A politician is a fellow who will lay down your life for his country. -- Texas Guinan



In view of the fact that God limited the intelligence of man, it seems unfair that He did not also limit his stupidity. -- Konrad Adenauer



The two most common elements in the universe are hydrogen and stupidity. But not in that order. -- Brian Pickrell



There is more stupidity than hydrogen in the universe, and it has a longer shelf life.

-- Frank Zappa



The difference between genius and stupidity is that genius has its limits -- Albert Einstein



Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use. -- Wendell Johnson



In a contest, The Washington Post asked readers to dream

up new elements for the Periodic Table. Among the best of the batch:



Billclintium Bc

With a slick appearance and slimy texture, this element

undergoes a series of interesting changes when in hot water.



Budweisium Ps

Has no taste or smell; is often indistinguishable from water.



Cabmium Cb

Found in abundance, except when needed. Exists in two states,

in motion and at rest. When in motion, it cannot be stopped, no

matter what you do. Cabmium has a charge associated with it.

The charge is variable, and scientists have not determined the

formula for calculating it.



Canadium Eh

Similar to Americium, but a little denser. Much more rigid.

Often called Boron.



Innofensium Pc

Precisely equal numbers of electrons, protons, neutrons,

leptons, quarks. Completely inert, utterly useless, but smells

like a rose.



Limbaughium Lb

The heaviest known element. It possesses an ever-expanding

mass. Very white. Acidic. Emits heat but no light. Instantly

polarizes all elements that come in contact with it. Repels

protons and electrons; attracts only morons.



Newtium

Extreme irritant. Carries a strong negative charge. Does not

possess magnetic properties. Can be purchased cheaply.



Quaylium Vp

Einsteinium it ain't.



Politicium Po

Contains a great deal of brass. Similar to radon in that it can

reach lethal concentrations in the House.



Congress Cg

Atomic number 525. Can never be found in a solution.



Snot Sn

Bonds forever with corduroy.



Kryptonite S

Kills Superman. That's it. That's all it does.

Annual Neologism Contest

The Washington Post has published the winning submissions to its yearly contest, in which readers are asked to supply alternate meanings for common words. The winners:

1. Coffee (n.) the person upon whom one coughs.

2. Flabbergasted (adj.) appalled over how much weight you have gained.

3. Abdicate (v.) to give up all hope of ever having a flat stomach.

4. Esplanade (v.) to attempt an explanation while drunk.

5. Willy-nilly (adj.) impotent.

6. Negligent (adj.) describes a condition in which you absent-mindedly answer the door in your nightgown.

7. Lymph (v.) to walk with a lisp.

8. Gargoyle (n.) olive-flavored mouthwash.

9. Flatulence (n.) emergency vehicle that picks you up after you are run over by a steamroller.

10. Balderdash (n.) a rapidly receding hairline.

11. Testicle (n.) a humorous question on an exam.

12. Rectitude (n.) the formal, dignified bearing adopted by proctologists.

13. Pokemon (n.) a Rastafarian proctologist.

14. Oyster (n.) a person who sprinkles his conversation with Yiddishisms.

15. Frisbeetarianism (n.) (back by popular demand): The belief that, when you die, your Soul flies up onto the roof and gets stuck there.

16. Circumvent (n.) an opening in the front of boxer shorts worn by Jewish men.

Political brains

Our brain is made up of two parts, the left and the right part. With our politicians, the problem is that: The LEFT has nothing RIGHT in it, and The RIGHT has nothing LEFT in it!

Sign Language:

Be Very Careful with the Sign of the V

If you make a V with your middle and index fingers, in most parts of the world people understand the fact that you're making a peace or victory sign. But you have to be careful which way your palm faces when you're in England and Australia. There, if you make a V and face the back of your hand outward, it's shorthand for "up yours."

Thumbs up

In the United States, it can mean "everything is all right," or, "I need a ride."

But this meaning is by no means universal.

In Nigeria, tourists have been beaten up for trying to hitchhike with the aid of their thumbs. In Australia, it once again means "up yours," something that makes one wonder if the Australians have as many ways of saying "up yours" as Native Alaskans do for snow.





Laughter Provides Many Health Benefits

Do you know that laughing increases circulation and improves the delivery of oxygen and nutrients to body tissue, that humor lowers blood pressure and aids the immune system in doing its job and also wards off      respiratory problems? Think of it as an aerobic workout for your lungs. Laughter reduces stress hormones, helps control pain by increasing endorphines and by allowing a person to set aside aches and pains, allowing the body to relax.

Following is a summary of how humor contributes to maintaining good health.

Reduction of Stress Hormones - Laughing is a powerful tool that can lower stress and dissolve anger. Mood is elevated by striving to find humor in difficult and frustrating situations. Humor is not so much about a funny joke, but about how we view the world. Laughing at ourselves and the situation helps reveal that small things are not the earth-shaking events they sometimes seem to be. Looking at a problem from a different perspective can make it seem less formidable and provide opportunities for greater objectivity and insight. Plus, the good feeling that we get when we laugh can remain with us as an internal experience even after the laughter subsides. Laughter reduces at least four of neuroendocrine hormones associated with stress response. These are epinephrine, cortisol, dopac, and growth hormone.

Wards off Depression - Research shows that people suffering from depression are more prone to many illnesses like high blood pressure, heart attacks and cancer. Depression also affects the immune system adversely.

Respiration - Laughter empties your lungs of more air than it takes in resulting in a cleansing effect - similar to deep breathing. This is especially helpful for peope who are suffering from respiratory ailments.

Muscle Relaxation - Laughing results in muscle relaxation. While you laugh, the muscles that do not participate in the belly laugh, relaxes. After you finish laughing those muscles involved in the laughter start to relax. So, the action takes place in two stages.

Immune System Enhancement - Studies have shown that humor strengthens the immune system.

Pain Reduction - Humor allows a person to "forget" about pains such as aches and arthritis.

Cardiac Protection - Laughter protects the heart. Laughter, along with an active sense of humor, may help protect you against a heart attack. A belly laugh is equivalent to "an internal jogging." Laughter can provide good cardiac conditioning especially for those who are unable to perform physical exercises.

Blood Pressure - Laughter lowers blood pressure. People who often laugh heartily have lower blood pressure than the average person. When people have a good laugh, initially the blood pressure increases, then decreases to levels below normal. Breathing then becomes deeper which sends oxygen-enriched blood and nutrients throughout the body.



Humor therapy or therapeutic humor uses the power of smiles and laughter to aid healing by helping to find ways to make yourself or others smile and laugh more.

Scientists have been researching (a field called psychoneuroimmunology) the relation between the mind and the body, especially in connection with the body's ability to heal. Laughter appears to change brain chemistry and may boost the immune system. Humor may allow a person to feel in control of a situation and make it seem more manageable. It allows people to release fears, anger, and stress, all of which can harm the body over time. Humor improves the quality of life.

Humor therapy, can be used to prevent or treat disease, particularly in long-term (chronic) diseases, especially those that are made worse by stress (such as heart disease and asthma). Chronic diseases have a negative effect on mood and attitude, which can make the disease worse. Humor therapy helps reduce the negative effects of feeling unhealthy, out of control, afraid, or helpless, which are common problems for those with cancer or chronic diseases.

Humor therapy is also valuable as a preventive measure for the caregivers of people with chronic diseases. Caregivers are at high risk of becoming sick themselves, and humor therapy can help release the stress that comes with being a caregiver. Caregivers and those they care for can practice humor therapy together, and they both are likely to have better health as a result.

The Nursing Exam June 2006 Saga

Headline: Gov't to make nursing exam passers retake tainted tests. The Philippine Star 02/17/2007 http://www.philstar.com/philstar/NEWS200702170418.htm

In brief, the blazing news declared that "The government will accede to the request of the Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools (CGFNS) to let the passers of the June 2006 leakage-tainted licensure examination retake the test so they can obtain visas to the United States, President Arroyo said yesterday."



In an earlier post I covered the Nursing exam leak scandal, saying:

…"Medicine means many things to society. It means the treatment of illness or injury

using drugs, it means the drug or substance used for treating illness or it means the

profession of treating illness as a doctor. The profession of treating illness itself has

ramifications and branches that are classified as conventional (doctors, surgeons,

dentists, psychiatrists, gynecologists, proctologists, nurses and many medical

specialists) or informal or alternative practitioners(midwives, chiropractors, acupuncturists, reflexologists, herbalists, aromatherapists and a slew of other psychic or shaman healers.)

The two classes of healers differ radically in methods and practices, but have one common bond between patient and healer: trust. Although trust is not uncommon in most human interaction --- a friend trusts his friend to pay back the money he borrowed, a client trusts his lawyer to handle his case with diligence, a depositor entrusts his money with his bank, citizens trust their officials to spend their tax money for the common weal --- it is in the realm of health and wellness that the trust link is extraordinary --- and vital.

It is in the trust aspect that the wide-ranging and destructive tremor … rocking Pinoy society caused by the alleged cheating in the Nursing exams held by the Professional Regulatory Commission. First, it confirms the existence of cheaters and validates Pareto's Law (the 20-80 rule stating that 20 percent of the examinees create 80% of the problem) that temporarily denies honest passers from anointment and consequently eagerly desired employment. Second, it injects some doubt and mistrust in the minds of prospective employers and patients about the honesty and reliability of Pinoy nurses, including those now employed. Third, the impact of potential loss of high-income jobs to the nation's economy. Fourth, the wound of cheating still festering in the nation's body politic is reopened and reinforces an image of charlatans rampaging in the country …



… Adverts, a powerful modern marketing tool, also benefits the consumer by offering purchasing choices. However, whenever buyers are in the market, whether wet, dry, mall, or Net, it would be wise to beware of "truth in advertising" and trust must be guarded by the economic jargon "Caveat Emptor", Latin for buyer beware.

The nursing exam cheating erupted initially as an ethics and morality issue but is now settling into a market economics issue. The nurses (the sellers) offering their services must convince the American hospitals (the buyers) that their goods (nursing healthcare) are trustworthy. Having learned of alleged dishonesty in the nursing tests, the buyers have assumed a heightened beware mood and consequently would demand proof that the goods offered are not tainted. To remove the stigma, this might entail a painful decision to invalidate parts or all of the previous tests. If so, the real problem of the government is not the search for wrong doing or wrong doers, but how to alleviate the pain."



A CGFNS fact-finding team came to Manila in September last year to assess the effects of the nursing exam leakage scandal. In their decision, CGFNS said the June 2006 passers can still qualify for a Visa Screen Certificate by taking the equivalent of Tests 3 and 5 on a future examination administered by Philippine regulatory authorities and obtaining a passing score. The CGFNS insisted that passers retake Tests 3 and 5, where the answers were leaked: "The integrity of foreign licensing systems ultimately affects the health and safety of patients in the United States, a primary consideration of CGFNS in its role in evaluating candidates under US immigration law."

The news shocked officialdom who blustered with the usual bravado to the effect that no foreign country can dictate to us. That is nationalistic pride speaking, and we know what consequences pride can lead to. However, exercising sobriety, a virtue still possessed by a few Filipinos in authority, the Labor Secretary fully recognizes that the issue is beyond resolve by legal fiat or diplomatic gobbledygook in dealing with the CGFNS (the pitbull-like guardian of entry by alien nurses.) and bows to the U.S. decision. In the face of market forces, even sovereign governments must give in, or else. The law of supply and demand is inexorable and unforgiving, and not repealable.

The CGFNS offered a means to salvage battered pride (loss of trustworthiness) by allowing a partial retake by the June 2006 oath takers to redeem their lost trust. Passing the test would restore competency and thus acceptability for employment in the U.S.

The reaction of the Philippine government from the top downwards went the entire gamut, from silly or ludicrous to sensible and sober. Ate Glue at first flip wanted a retake, but later flopped, mounting the political patronage high horse and ordered her Labor Secretary to appeal the CGFNS decision, obviously to appease 17,000 nurses (plus their parents and relatives). Senator Richard Gordon said the government's plan to appeal the decision of the Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools (CGFNS) requiring nurses who passed the June 2006 board examination to retake two leak-tainted tests if they want to acquire US visas is useless,. Rene Tadle of the University of Sto. Tomas' College of Nursing Faculty, who spearheaded the filing of a court case seeking a retake of the June licensure exam, agreed with Gordon. Both asked the PRC to work for the retake instead of appealing the CGFNS decision

Rosero is set to leave for the United States to ask the CGFNS to reconsider its decision not to give VisaScreen certificates to the 17,000 or so nurses. Rosero added that she would head the delegation, which the PRC chief said was independent of the group directed by President Gloria Macapagal-Arroyo last week to appeal for reconsideration of the CGFNS decision. "We would show the CGFNS officials how the examination results were computed, together with the decision of the Court of Appeals and Supreme Court on the issue," Rosero said. The members of the task force would leave for Philadelphia, where the CGFNS is based, on February 26. Dr. Remigia Nathanielz, president of the Association of Deans of Philippine Colleges of Nursing, and the PNA president, Dr. Leah Primitiva Samaco-Paquiz would form part of the task force. The sobriquet “task force” could convey an intimidating authoritative sense (deliberately or inadvertently), the phrase originating from military jargon meaning a naval force formed temporarily to accomplish a specific mission. Perhaps task group or delegation would be less militant sounding and more civil. Moreover, will the local agents of CFGNS take the slap with equanimity?

The Supreme Court dismissed the petition for certiorari the motion filed by the University of Santo Tomas (UST) College of Nursing Faculty Association asking the government to administer new tests to all the nursing graduates who passed the nursing board examinations last June 2006.

The PRC head apparently balks at the idea of preparing a retake test and clearly defying her boss the Labor Secretary (who declines to be drawn into a squabble with his subordinate.). The Department of Labor and Employment (DOLE) will conduct a retake of the leakage-tainted June 2006 licensure examination especially for Filipino nurses who want to work in the United States. Labor Secretary Arturo Brion said DOLE has recommended to Malacañang a voluntary retake of the compromised test to resolve questions on the eligibility of those who passed the 2006 board examination. "Our alternative plan is for the Department of Labor, through the Board of Nursing (BON), to administer the re-examination of Tests 3 and 5," he said. Brion said the BON will prepare and do the corrections of the special tests to be held simultaneously with the scheduled nursing licensure examinations in June and December this year.

It seems Labor Secretary Briones never wavered in his stand that a voluntary retake would satisfy both official positions, leaving those nurses that spurn a retake to realize that a U.S. job is closed to them, since the VisaScreen Certificate is required for all persons applying for work in America.



I surmise the concise standards set by the CGFNS are merely a reflection of the collective standards of the medical institutions they represent, which are not just medical in nature but also economic, in view of the terribly high litigation rate of medical malpractice in the U.S.

The appeal-to-CGFNS-decision drama ended in a crescendo when the CEO of CGFNS Barbara Nichols declared in an unequivocal statement that any effort to appeal the decision of the US Commission on Graduates of Foreign Nursing Schools (CGFNS) will be futile. This was conveyed to Philippine Regulatory Commission (PRC) Chairperson Leonor Tripon-Rosero, in their phone conversation on Saturday, 24 February. The CEO added that the decision was final, and no useful purpose would be served by Rosero coming to the United States to make an ‘appeal’ of that decision. This decision was made by its Board of Trustees, the highest authority of that corporation, There is no process or provision for an appeal or reconsideration of a Board decision. There is no higher authority than the Board of Trustees," Nichols told Rosero.

Moreover, Nichols pointed out that the board's decision on the issue was unanimous. "This decision of the CGFNS Board is final; the matter is settled."

A news report said Rosero declined to comment whether the task force would still leave for Philadelphia to appeal the decision in light of the CGFNS statement., and was quoted as saying she preferred “that we issue a collective statement.” Of course, in all fairness the shame and blame must be shared, but proceeding to Philly in the face of the rejection would be a grave abuse of discretion if tax money is used.

It was, after all the mayhem, a matter of trust on caregivers that could save or snuff a life.